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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23789527">i should have saved you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepi_peachnbeans/pseuds/pepi_peachnbeans'>pepi_peachnbeans</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hannibal (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Attempted Suicide, Canon-Typical Violence, Dark Will Graham, Ghosts, Hannibal Lecter is the Chesapeake Ripper, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Manipulation, Murder Family, Overdose, Parallels to the Show, Time lapses, Will Graham Has Encephalitis, borrowed dialogue, but also canon divergent in many ways, but obviously different, cajun will, hannibal's house is like murder house, inspired by tate and violet from ahs, just some minor changes, season 1 AU, still kinda fits into canon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:13:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,894</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23789527</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepi_peachnbeans/pseuds/pepi_peachnbeans</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Will concedes knowing that the subject won't rest easy for either of them if it's left like this, even though Hannibal made sure his statement was open if Will as so chose to not say anything more on the matter. "It's not that I want to be dead. Sometimes I just wish that I simply wasn't here or that I didn't exist at all. Sometimes I just want to make it all go away. To put my head back, close my eyes, and wade into the quiet of the stream."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>69</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i should have saved you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i hope this isn't too ooc ,,, i wrote this in one sitting haha </p><p>also from what i found there is no mention as to when will's birthday is so like i made a time frame up just to fit the fic</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Graham," Will passively answers the phone, wondering why he even bothers with formalities. Only a handful of people ever call him, the only  strangers calls he seems to get is that of scams warning him of his cars extended warranty. </p><p>"Will," Jack's voice comes across the speaker as his own way of greeting. "There's another body, I think it's the Ripper. </p><p>It makes Will sigh, of course there happens to be another body right now. Setting down the fly that he is working on to already head to his front door, masterfully walking around the dogs at his feet, to toe on his shoes and tug on a coat and head out the door, "Text me the address." </p><p>Jack agrees, and seconds later as Will is pulling on his seat belt his phone lights up showing an address. Copy and pasting it into his gps, Will begins to pull out of his driveway. </p><p>The drive is long, but it isn't terrible, he's had to drive longer for previous cases. It takes him forty five minutes to arrive at the scene that is buzzing with both local police and FBI Agents. </p><p>The building the body was in is an old barn, and Will finds that he isn't all that surprised. It's alarmingly devoid of anything however, not even tools one would usually find in a barn. There is however, a giant table that is placed in the center, it's comically long, and Will takes note of the thirteen chairs, something he is sure to hold a great significance. Thirteen is too specific of a number to be a mere coincidence. </p><p>Trying to hold of the headache that is already threatening to push it's way out of Will's skull, he breathes in a closes his eyes. Mentally, he can imagine the swinging of a golden pendulum as the crime scene reverses and Will takes in what is before him. </p><p>
  <em>This man, whoever he is, I know him, personally. We were close even, and this makes the death more whimsical than the others, but no less full of precision like previous murders. He betrayed me, did something against the trust I had given him. I create a table of thirteen, I kill him quickly and forcefully, snapping his neck, and I cut into his head, taking his brain and I leave everything else. </em>
</p><p><em>I place him two seats down, kneeling towards the very center, arms held up in prayer. I imagine myself at the center, where Jesus stood, he shall pray to me for forgiveness. He takes the places of Judas.</em> </p><p><b><em>This is my design</em></b>. </p><p>Will's eyes snap open and he calls for Jack to come back in to share what he has gotten. Without a doubt in his mind, Will knows that this was a kill done by the Chesapeake Ripper. </p><p>Later that night, after Will has recounted the fresh death to Hannibal, they sit in silence. Will knows that it's Hannibal's way of offering peace, to allow Will to speak before he begins to ask questions, before he begins to try and psychoanalyze Will in the way that he hates most. </p><p>Apparently this night, Hannibal's patience must be waning rather thin because after ten minutes of the unspoken silence, he cuts into it with clean precision, like a surgeon with a scalpel would to a patient. "Do you see yourself as self destructive Will?" </p><p>"I think I often feel like a moth who is drawn to a flame. Entranced, and I know I shouldn't venture any further, and yet I reach out and let myself burn anyways." </p><p>Hannibal regards the statement as if it was a simple statement, as if Will had merely said, 'I prefer black coffee to tea'. "Some may say that you want to burn." </p><p><em>Some</em>, Will muses to himself, curious.<em> Chilton, Freddie Lounds, or you</em>? He doesn't say it, instead he chooses to ask his own question, because he has his own abilities and he won't sit by and let Hannibal try to play him like he adores to play his harpsichord. "Do you think I want to burn Dr. Lector?" </p><p>"I have some indication that you might. Tell me Will, have you had suicidal tendencies in the past?" </p><p>"Suicidal tendencies?" Will snorts, realizing the direction that Hannibal is steering this conversation, and he can't help but feel bitter, if not the slightest afraid. "What, are you going to tell Jack and have me put on watch?" </p><p>"No," Hannibal says cooly, unfazed and easily dismissing Will's petulant remarks. "But it isn't that much of a stretch to consider it as something you have dealt with before in the past. The facts are highly stacked Will. You were abandoned by your mother at a young age, and your father certainly wasn't father of the year no doubt. You were estranged by your peers, due to both their judgement and partially of your own making by withdrawal. You failed to maintain being a police officer, and failed at becoming a proper detective. You killed Garrett Jacob Hobbs. You suffer from extreme insomnia, and have been having lapses of time as of late, often with no recollection whatsoever." </p><p>Each word feels like a personal hit at Will and he shifts in his own chair, his leg bouncing. He wants to get up, to move around the room and put some distance between him and Hannibal, anything to maybe make this conversation easier. He doesn't though, it feels like something is rooting him in place, forcing him to stay as Hannibal carefully opens up his wounds for the both of them to see. </p><p>"Indulge me, just a little Will. If you were to psychoanalyze another person, knowing all of this information alone, would you have the same presumptions that I have concluded?" </p><p>"What is this? The biography of my life? 'The Many Fails of One Will Graham?" he tries to joke and displace the seriousness, but it hardly works. Rubbing at his eyes, he tries to fight back yet another headache, knowing that by the time he gets back into his car to drive back to Wolftrap, he'll need another Tylenol. Swallowing, he finally speaks, "You're right. I would think so too." </p><p>"You have to face the facts that what is happening may not be physical," Hannibal reminds him far too gently than he of all people should be capable of. "That it might be mental." </p><p>"That I'm suicidal," he corrects wondering why Hannibal seems to skirt around that issue so suddenly after trying to drag a confession, or perhaps a plan, out of Will just moments ago. </p><p>"It may be a possibility." </p><p>Will concedes knowing that the subject won't rest easy for either of them if it's left like this, even though Hannibal made sure his statement was open if Will as so chose to not say anything more on the matter. "It's not that I want to be dead. Sometimes I just wish that I simply wasn't here or that I didn't exist at all. Sometimes I just want to make it all go away. To put my head back, close my eyes, and wade into the quiet of the stream." </p><p>"Wishing for peace is a normal thing Will, I assure you." </p><p><em>Peace</em>. </p><p>When Will blinks again he realizes that he's standing in front of his class, mid lecture. He's paused, and his students are all blinking up at him expectantly, not all too fazed by his behavior, each and everyone of them already used to the many oddities being in a Professor Graham's class provides. </p><p>He's done it again, he realizes, as he swallows and makes his way back behind his lecture stand taking a minute to look at the slide that he is on to gain his train of thought. He lost time once again. Clearing his throat, he picks back up on his lectures of the copycat killer, desperate to finish. </p><p>Soon enough, the last slide comes across the projector, and Will tries not to show how his shoulder's sag in relief. "Thank you class, that will be it for today." </p><p>One by one his students leave, and as soon as the last group is out, Will is pulling out his phone and checking the time to see that it was his last class for the day. Hurrying up, he pulls out his flash drive, and packs his bag. </p><p>Will makes it to his car and begins to drive, unaware of where he is even going until he pulls up to Hannibal's. Swallowing, he makes his way to Hannibal's office, it's still the day and he'll have appointments. Will is well aware of how rude it is to show up without a phone call or any other warning. Knowing that however, still isn't enough to stop him from taking a seat in the familiar waiting room. </p><p>His head begins to pound once again more, and Will winces as he digs through his bag, finding only the sleeping pills he's been taking at night to try and help him stay asleep, to curve waking from his nightmares or waking up on his roof once again. He must have dropped his bottle of Tylenol somewhere. He closes his eyes and rubs at the bridge of his nose as he tries to remind himself that he has already been cleared by Dr. Sutcliffe from anything physical, and that whatever this is, is all physical. </p><p>He only looks up when he hears the heavy wooden door open up, and a young female walks out, Hannibal behind her, saying goodbyes until their next session. </p><p>"Will," he says, seemingly genuinely surprised at his appearance. </p><p>The girl, who has brown hair tied back into a pony tail, and bright piercing blue eyes, watches him quizzically before disappearing leaving both men alone. "I-" he starts but the words get lost and so he stops. "I'm sorry." </p><p>"It's no problem Will, you know I'm always happy to see you. I just would have expected a call or something of the sort." </p><p>"Right," Will winces. "I came straight from the BAU. I know we don't have an appointment or anything but-" </p><p>Hannibal's eyes rack up and down Will's form, seemingly understanding Will's distress without him having to say anything about it. "My door is always open for friends Will," the corners of his lips upturn just the slightest. "I do have several more appointments before I am done for the day, the next one should be arriving any minute now. If you would like, you may wait at my house, I'll make dinner.." </p><p>Will has been to Hannibal's house already, on more than one occasion. It's not far from his office either. </p><p>"Explore as you like," Hannibal tells him as he places his house key in Will's hands and Will can't bring it in him to do anything but smile in appreciation. </p><p>He arrives at Hannibal's house, just now noting for the first time how giant and gothic it really is. The house already usually feels rather empty when it's just them, with only the whisper of Hannibal's elaborate dinner parties, but as the door swings shut behind him and echoes through the halls, he's reminded of it twice fold.</p><p>Still with enough mind to pay his respect, Will begins to head towards the closest by the door, the one where Hannibal stores some of his coats, and where he always places the guests. But as he moves to pull of his messenger bag, he can't help but notice a shape moving from the corner of his vision. </p><p>With a frown, he swears it looked like a person and he knows that there should be no one else here, Hannibal would warn him if there happened to be. At first as he stares down at the hallway, he wants to write it off as a worker, perhaps a maid or gardener, but realistically he knows that Hannibal is both parts too stubborn and a perfectionist to allow anyone else to do either of those things for him. </p><p>Suddenly, his body is buzzing with adrenaline and he makes a quick pat on his waistband to reassure himself of the gun he has hidden there. With one hand on his gun and the other clutching to his messenger bag, he begins to creep further into Hannibal's house in pursuit of the unwanted guest. It could be a robbery, Hannibal's rich and often isn't hope during the day. </p><p>"Hello?" he calls out noticing the figure once again and Will quickens his pace turning the corner to see a door open. </p><p>Reaching out, he pushes the door open further to see it's a set of stairs leading down to what has to be Hannibal's basement. Breathing in, Will pushes any fear aside, because he is trained specifically to go into scary places like this, and begins to make his way down the stairs, noticing how they don't even creak once. </p><p>"Hello," he calls out once again hoping to gain their attention so they hear his warning. "Just to let you know, I have a gun." </p><p>He doesn't get a response, not that Will had been expecting one and he reaches the stairs and looks around the wide basement before him. Hearing a snap, Will frowns and spins around spotting a freezer and cautiously he approaches it. With the hand that was holding his messenger bag steady, he reaches out and swings the door open to peer inside. </p><p>It's utterly underwhelming, much to Will's relief. It's not full, not like Hannibal's freezer upstairs, but Will supposes this is his back up of sorts. There's several bags, he notes, of red meat, but that isn't uncharacteristic for Hannibal Lector. He's a carnivore all the way, and it's practical for a man who cooks so many meals for multiple, or dinner parties for countless guests, to have a great deal of meat in his possession. With a sigh of relief, Will wonders why he even bothered to try and open it in the first place, as if the intruder would have hidden in it. </p><p>Closing the door, Will spots a woman standing next to the freezer, previously hidden by the door and Will pulls out his gun in an instance. She's dressed in a white hospital gown, blood all across her stomach as if the garment is hiding wounds. There's something about her that is familiar, but Will can't exactly place it in this moment. </p><p>Her mouth opens and with raspy voices speaks, "Look at what he did to me." </p><p>Gasping, Will spins around on his heels with all the intentions of running away, but is forced to stop yet again and he comes faces to face with someone he knows all too well. She  stands there, dressed in a trainee uniform, blonde hair pulled back into a pony tail and missing one arm. "I was so wrong, I didn't want to die like this." </p><p>Will runs away bounding up the stairs trying to put as much distance between himself and Miriam Lass as possible. </p><p>As soon as he gets up the stairs, he slams the door shut behind him and leans against it, eyes flicking around the hallway for any further signs of activity, and finds that there is none. He relaxes, but only slightly, and Will has to chant to himself to try and calm down, that Hannibal was right, it's all in his head. This new Chesapeake Ripper kill is starting to get to him on top of everything else. All he needs is sleep. </p><p>He's lost time, another big chunk of it, so he can't be sure of how much he has gotten the night before. He can be sure that two days ago he had gotten only three, and he woke up periodically within that time. Deciding it to be a good idea, Will peels himself from the doorway to make his way upstairs to a territory Will has yet to explore. </p><p>Will walks until he opens the door to a bedroom, finding that it happens to be the master bedroom, but through his pounding headache and the tears that threaten to fall, he can't bring himself to care. Even if it is a huge violation to whatever shreds remain of his and Hannibal's professional relationship. </p><p>Dropping his bag on the corner of the well kept and made bed, Will begins to rustle through it to find the sleeping pills he knows are in there. When Hannibal returns, Will can bank on the fact that the man would be far too polite to wake him up, despite how rude it is to fall asleep on his bed. Finding the bottle, Will pours three in his hands and swallow them dry, face crunching as he wishes he had gotten a glass of water first. </p><p>Groaning, Will brings one hand up again to rub at his forehead, his headache killing him, and he just wants to sleep, and without another thought he takes more as he collapses onto the edge of the bed now. </p><p>His chest is heaving up and down now, the aftermath of the shock getting to him as he considers what he had seen down in the basement. There's no way it had been real, Miriam Lass is dead, the Chesapeake Ripper killed her, used her to taunt Jack, to prove how untouchable he is, how horrible Jack is at his job. What she said reflects the voice call that was left to Jack's phone. </p><p>
  <em>Look at what he did to me. </em>
</p><p>It isn't the first time that Will has empathized with victims. It's something new to come to the Chesapeake Ripper case, but he has done it before, like with the Minnesota Shrike. He had been too disgusted to continue to think as Garret Jacob Hobbs, especially after his death when he sat by Abigail's hospital bedside, feeling for her and the other victims. Before Will really realizes what he's doing, he's reaching out and grabbing more pills, until more pills turn into a handful of them. </p><p>He thinks about it then, about being able to end it all. He could stop it, he could close his eyes and find his own peace. </p><p><em>There's nothing wrong about wanting peace, Will</em>. </p><p>Will reaches back up to pick up his bottle of sleeping pulls and as he upturns it, he watches as no more pills come up. Sucking in a sob, Will lets the bottle slip past his fingers and fall to the floor and roll away from him. Glancing up, he looks at the window to see his vision dancing in black and without any control of his body he falls flat against the mattress that Will swears in that moment is the comfiest thing he has ever laid on before. </p><p>He only manages to stir when he faintly hears the door of the bed room opening and he struggles to open his eyes. He feels before he can see, there are hands frantically moving across his face and neck feeling for his heart beat. His eyes finally flutter open, and he can see Hannibal standing over him, what has to be concern written in his face, and Will remembers that Hannibal used to be an ER surgeon before he took up psychiatry. </p><p>Hannibal is saying something to him, but Will can't quite make it out yet as he lifts Will up bridal style with an utter ease and begins to lead him somewhere. As they move, he wants to say something to Hannibal, anything really. Maybe to tell him that he had been right at their last session, or perhaps to thank him for being the closest thing Will has had to a friend in years. Virtually anything, really, but he can only begin to cry as Hannibal places him in a tub, climbing in after him while still in his three piece suit that has to cost more than Will's mortgage. </p><p>"Don't you die on me Will," Hannibal starts as he leans forward to turn the water on, and next the overhead shower, the water freezing as it cascades over them both quickly drenching them. </p><p>"Will," one of Hannibal's hands reach forward to brush the wet curls out of Will's face. "I can't leave you to go make a charcoal drink to get the toxins from your system. I need you to work with me, please don't die on me." </p><p>The hand that was previously brushing back his curls is reaching forward and opening his mouth, and Will can't tell where his tears end and the water from the shower head begins. The fingers work with expertise and they make their way down into his throat and past his gag reflex, and before Will knows it, he's sagging forward, only to be caught by Hannibal's other arm holding him flush against his chest, vomit spewing form his mouth and a sob following it. </p><p>Will grows only faintly aware of Hannibal's babbling behind him, the man who is usually the picture of being composed, slowly begins to lose it, as he tries to force Will to throw up. Will can only hang on for so long until his eyes close and his head falls against Hannibal's chest as the water falls down. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When Will wakes up, he's groggy and unsure of what time it is. He frowns as he rolls over in he unusually comfy bed, noting that there is a severe lack of dogs surrounding him. Opening his eyes, he glances around the unfamiliar room before it clicks for him. Visiting Hannibal's office, he had given Will the keys to his house. By the time that Will had arrived, his headache had gotten so bad, he must have just fallen asleep. </p><p>Rolling out of his bed, Will searches for his phone or his bag, but he doesn't find either of them. Shrugging it off for not, Will heads for the door to go and search for Hannibal, and he isn't too surprised to find Hannibal in the kitchen cooking. </p><p>"I am so sorry," Will starts out watching as Hannibal genuinely flinches. </p><p>The man recovers with utter grace those as he places the knife down in the cutting board underneath him before turning around to look at Will. There's something slightly off, but Will can't place his finger on it. "Hello, Will." </p><p>"I shouldn't have fallen asleep like that," Will continues on. "Did I miss dinner?" </p><p>Hannibal turns to look at the food behind him until the corners of his lips down turn in just the slightest, "You slept through the night, I didn't want to wake you for dinner." </p><p>"I appreciate it," Will smiles, hoping to show Hannibal the genuineness of those words. </p><p>Hannibal serves breakfast easily enough and continues on with their conversation from the kitchen. "Speaking of taking some rest, after yesterday Jack and I both agreed it would be best if you took a break from work for now." </p><p>"Until another body shows up," Will grumbles into the fork in his hand before putting the food in his mouth to chew. Jack's tried to play that game before, but each and every time a body for some case ends up dropping far too early and Will is always forced to come back. </p><p>"Not even if a body turns up," Hannibal drinks from his orange juice. "Doctor's orders." </p><p>"What else does the doctor order?" Will grins as he leans forward on the table, his chin resting on his hand supported by his elbow. He knows that technically, elbows weren't meant to be on the table, but Hannibal isn't saying anything about it, and so Will suspects that it's okay, for now at least. Perhaps the older man will find the time to chastise him about it later. </p><p>"For me to monitor over you for your break, if you don't mind. I'll still go to work, but in the times that I happen to be gone, you can consider this house as your own. I know you would find great comfort in my study." </p><p>Will isn't surprised that Hannibal is offering him this. Something about Hannibal has always been to ready to help Will in any and every way possible, even despite how inconvenient or odd the favor is. "If your study is anything like the collection you have in your office, I am sure I will be occupied enough." </p><p>"It's even better," Hannibal seems proud as he boasts about his collection, one that Will knows has to be great. Hannibal has quite the refined tastes for books, and his personal collection has to be far more diverse than the already grand selection offered in his office. Books that Will has inspected many times during his sessions. </p><p>It all sounds good but Will sighs, "What about my dogs though? Someone will have to take care of them while I'm gone." </p><p>"Alana already offered to." </p><p>Will laughs, not surprised by that information either. Alana had always been kind in those regards, helping Will look after his dogs when he either never left his office at the BAU or in the times he had to travel out of state for a case. "Did you all conspire against me while I was asleep?" </p><p>"More of less," Hannibal admits, at least having half the mind to look sheepish. "Now, you must be starving. Finish eating, there will be more times to talk later on." </p><p>After Hannibal leaves for the day, promising to be back by seven o'clock at the latest, Will is left to his own devices in Hannibal's home. It's odd, Will doesn't frequent other peoples homes often, especially not enough to be left in such an unfamiliar environment by himself either. It makes him feel odd, almost in the way that usually has him pulling on a pair of glasses to hide himself away as best as he can. </p><p>Curiosity though, is one of Will's biggest downfalls, and that doesn't suddenly change. Hannibal had given him permission to explore the house, and Will decides that he'll do just that. Mainly, he's in search for this library that Hannibal insists is so good, and Will knows that it is. It doesn't take Will long to find the study, it happens to be on the first floor stacked to the ceiling with an impressive collection of books. </p><p>Will skims, he makes circles around the room, similar to how he often does in therapy with Hannibal, but doesn't ever actually take a book to begin reading. After Will spends what has to be more than a hour alone just wandering through the room and essentially window shop, he sits down on one of the comfy and grand recliners placed in the room. He closes his eyes and he can imagine seeing Hannibal sit here early in the mornings before he begins breakfast, reading his most latest book, it likely isn't often that he has free time. Between the time destined to cook his rather complex and extravagant meals, his job as a therapist, being called in by Jack all the time, whether it was for his expertise or to just merely try and ground Will, and even general chores, Will can imagine that it hardly leaves enough time to do anything else for pleasure. The times he does get, Will knows from past conversations that Hannibal frequents orchestras and the opera. </p><p>Opening his eyes again, Will focuses on the window outside watching as the sun beats down on the grass. It's early spring here, and Baltimore is having a bout of decent weather, and not just rainstorms for days on end. Stretching out his legs just a bit, Will decides that he'll take a quick walk, exercise will always do the body (and the mind) good. </p><p>Heading down the hallway, he finds his shoes left by the door and he tugs them on, forgoing to grab his coat, he doubts that he'll need it in this weather. With a smile, he opens the door and closes it again, hoping that Hannibal won't mind that he leaves it unlocked since he doesn't have a key.</p><p>He smiles as he steps out from the porch and down the steps, the wind breezing against his exposed skin, chilly, but not enough to truly bother him. When he first moved more up North, this kind of weather would have had him wearing a parka since he was so used to the long and humid heat of Louisiana, but he's long gotten used to the climate that Virginia and Maryland have to offer. Will throws one last glance back to Hannibal's house before he takes his first steps off of the property. </p><p>When Will looks back around, he feels his stomach sink to find that he's on the back porch again, and the sun has moved in the sky. There's a faint threat of a headache coming on, but Will supposes that this is more emotional distress than anything, he is still loosing time. Maybe it really is a good thing that he's getting some time off then, his psyche obviously needs it, even if Will knows that he'll begin to grow antsy after a day or so. Usually he would take to working from home, but he doubts that Hannibal would ever allow for that one to happen. </p><p>Annoyed, Will goes back inside surprised to see that Hannibal's own coat is hung up by the door and that he must be home. Patting his pockets, Will realizes that he still doesn't have his phone and immediately sets out to find Hannibal. </p><p>It doesn't take Will long, he's in the kitchen, pulling ingredients out of his cabinets and fridge, the very earliest stages of his routine. "I went on a walk," Will gives as an explanation as he walks into the kitchen and takes a seat at the counter as out of Hannibal's way as he possibly can. </p><p>"Oh?" Hannibal raises an eyebrow. "And how was it?" </p><p>Will pauses to consider if he should tell him the truth. It would be easy for him to lie to Hannibal, to say that the air was refreshing, but he knows that he shouldn't lie to the man, not after he is going out of his way to take care of Will like this. "I don't remember it. I lost a couple of hours I think, it couldn't have been any later than two in the afternoon when I went." </p><p>Will carefully watches Hannibal's expression, but gives up because Hannibal rarely ever gives anything away. The man does seem to be contemplating what Will has told him, and eventually decides on, "Maybe for now it's best to not go on any walks." </p><p>"Afraid of what I'll do?" Will raises his own eyebrows in a slight challenge. </p><p>"Afraid of what danger may come to you," Hannibal corrects. "You told me once you wandered down a dark back road, what if a reckless driver were to hit you?" </p><p>The fear and concern isn't unfounded, Will can at least give Hannibal that. In one of his time lapses, he ended up on the roof of his house, an act that's alarmingly dangerous. "What's for dinner?" </p><p>"Ah," Hannibal reaches forward. "I'm afraid it isn't anything fancy tonight, just some simple Foie gras made from left over goose liver." </p><p>He shouldn't laugh, but Will finds himself doing so anyways. It's the way that Hannibal seems genuinely embarrassed that all he is serving for the night as if Foie Gras isn't one of the fanciest dishes that are most genuinely known. "I'm sure it will be just fine Hannibal." </p><p>On Will's second day, he heeds Hannibal's advice and doesn't try to take anymore walks. Instead he spends the day reading, getting absorbed in books of poetry Hannibal has amongst his collection. There was one book in particular that looked interesting to Will, but when he opened it up he found it to be entirely in Lithuanian, perhaps he'll have to ask Hannibal to translate a poem or two for him sometime. Instead, he settles on one in French which he can actually read, even if he is slightly rusty. </p><p>This night, when Hannibal comes home, Will helps him in the kitchen as best as he can. He has never been the best cook in the world, and so Hannibal lets him do the utmost basic of tasks, because Will might be slightly helpless, but he still does know how to cut up peppers. It's all too domestic and Will finds himself slightly overwhelmed by the time they sit and Hannibal ridiculously long table to eat dinner. </p><p>This wouldn't be the first time that Will has entertained the idea of him and Hannibal completely throwing out the bones of their professionalism to become something more, something more romantic. Beverly has hinted at it as well in the past, pointing out how for all the years that she has known him, she has never seen him interact with someone with such ease, but she merely rolled her eyes and said, <em>I'm just saying that it's a possibility Will</em>. Alana had hinted towards it as well, after Will had tried to kiss her, she admitted to liking him and that she can't be with someone so unstable. Masterfully, in just a way that those in the psychology field are capable of, she dropped the suggestion of there being someone who doesn't mind his instability, and could even love him more because of it. </p><p>He hadn't really thought past it though, Hannibal has never given any inclination that his concern for Will is in anyway romantic, it has always been friendly. Even then, Will still can't help remembering how Hannibal had said one of the sweetest, and most twisted, things to him,<em> I don't care about the lives that you save, I care about your life Will</em>. Or how Will's heart raced the day he leaned back against the ladder in Hannibal's office almost inviting Hannibal to follow him and lean in closer, or the day that Hannibal actually<em> smelled</em> him. </p><p>Looking across the table at Hannibal, Will indulges himself and thinks about it once again. Technically, Hannibal isn't his therapist, they just have 'conversations'. Hannibal respects his wishes by not psychoanalyzing him often, but he's compared it to Will's empathy, that he can't always control it, and it's at least the attempt that Will can respect, it's more of an effort than many other people make for him. All Hannibal's job had been was to clear Will for the field, and he did that. When Jack calls him in now, it's to talk about Will, which he still resents, or for his expertise on a profile. It's likely that if their relationship were ever to take a turn towards romance, their conversations could still continue. Couples bounce ideas off of each other all the time, and for them instead of 'sessions' it could just happen while cooking dinner or at the dinner table. Will knows that Hannibal is rather fond of intellectual conversations, and wouldn't view it as hardy as others would. </p><p>Of course there is still the matter of the fact that Hannibal would have to like him like that, which Will doubts that he does. </p><p>After dinner, they go to sit in the living room. Well, Hannibal sits at the chair by the fire sipping on his selected glass of wine, while Will makes circles around the living room for no other reason than he feels restless. </p><p>"Will, is there something on your mind?" </p><p>Will doesn't answer, at least not verbally. Instead he merely swirls his own glass of wine, watching as the red liquid sloshes around just to settle again, and he shakes his head in an answer. It would be rude, if Hannibal wasn't watching him already, because it would seem as if he was ignoring it. </p><p>"Will," Hannibal sighs, and it makes Will look up from his glass to see Hannibal's own is sat down and he's outstretching his hand. "Come here." </p><p>It's not an order, but an invitation, and so Will accepts it. He makes his way over, setting his own glass on the table, making sure it sits on a coaster, before accepting Hannibal's hand in his own. Hannibal pulls him close, lightly enough that Will could resist and pull away if he wanted to, but he doesn't. </p><p>It leaves Will standing directly over Hannibal, and he blinks letting his head tilt to the side just the slightest. Here against the light of the fire, he can't deny just how regal Hannibal looks, rather fitting of the title Count. Making a brash decision, he leans down letting his lips ghost over Hannibal's, surprised to find that the older man doesn't pull away, but closes the gap. </p><p>The kiss starts rather slow, sensual even. It takes all of Will's power not to grin, but he still manages to do so in just the slightest amount. On Hannibal's tongue, Will can still taste the traces of wine, and he swears that wine has never tasted so good in his entire life. </p><p>He does end up laughing though when Hannibal tugs him down so that he is falling, quite literally, into his lap. "Do you like me Dr. Lector?" he teases </p><p>Hannibal grins up at him with all teeth, his voice a near growl. "Don't ask questions you already know the answer to Will." </p><p>It makes Will laugh again, though the sound dies out in his throat and turns into a moan as Hannibal leans in to his neck, teeth grazing over the skin until he turns to sucking. He brings his own hands up to card through Hannibal's dusty blonde hair, surprised to find that underneath all of the product, it's still soft. "What if I would just like to hear the answer?" </p><p>"Yes," Hannibal says seconds before he stands up, his hands supporting the underneath of Will's thighs leaving Will to cling to his shoulders for dear life and trust that Hannibal won't drop him as he takes them to the bedroom where he can lay Will out properly. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It's about three days into Will's stay, and he stays in the study reading. He isn't quite sure where Hannibal is at, they parted ways after breakfast, not that Will really minded all that much. He only gets pulled out of his book when he hears a heavy knock on the door. Curious, he puts the book down and creeps down the stairs where he can hear Hannibal already opening the door. </p><p>"Oh," his voice rises just the slightest, a vocal indication that he's surprised. "Jack, it's nice to see you." </p><p>Hearing that Jack is here makes Will take two more steps before he pauses again. Eavesdropping is wrong, realistically Will knows that, but he isn't exactly the picture perfect model for morality, and so he stays rooted in his spot to listen instead. </p><p>"I wish I could say the same Dr. Lector," and Will knows Jack well enough now to tell the genuine nerve to his tone, he's upset. Has another body dropped? "but circumstances have decided that this is the opposite of anything nice." </p><p>"What's happened?" Hannibal asks, knowing too that something has obviously happened, as well as having the advantage of seeing Jack's physical ques. Will tries to imagine it, a deep set frown and a pull in his brow, jaw locked tight when he isn't speaking. </p><p>"It's Will." That much has Will leaning forward wondering if he'll get to listen in on what Jack and Hannibal have to say about him when he's not around. He knows that Jack often does contact Hannibal asking questions about Will, and Hannibal is under no obligation to keep anything Will says to him a secret. "He left the BAU on Friday, and never came back. He never answered his phone, and he never made it home. His car is missing as well." </p><p>Will feels like he's physically buzzing and that he might throw up breakfast as he realizes the meaning behind Jack's visit. </p><p>Will is missing. </p><p><em>I'm missing</em>. </p><p>Will remembers leaving the BAU on Friday to head to Hannibal's office, and Hannibal had given him his keys. He fell asleep. All of Will's thoughts race one by one that he nearly misses the entirety of Jack's explanation. </p><p>"All of his stuff is still intact at his house, namely any fishing gear he has, so we have ruled out that he got lost on a fishing trip." </p><p>"He hasn't contacted me in anyway," Hannibal outright lies and Will scowls. "With how bad his condition has gotten lately- this is concerning Jack." </p><p>"Well you see Dr. Lector," Jack begins and Will recognizes that tone. It's the tone that Jack uses when he thinks himself to be correct compared to others, it's the 'holier than thou' voice that Beverly has dubbed it. "Dr. Bloom believes Will's mental condition to be the reasoning behind his disappearance as well." </p><p>"But you don't," Hannibal points out matter of factly, too calm. It's as if he's talking about what sports team is going to win the Superbowl this year, not a matter of Will's disappearance. </p><p>"No," he agrees. "As you probably know both from the news and your sessions with Will, he's been working on a new Chesapeake Ripper case." </p><p>Will's hand comes forward and covers his mouth to keep his startled cry quiet. Miriam Lass took it upon herself to investigate the Ripper case, and ended up dead because of it. She died knowing who he was, and by his hands. And Will can remember seeing her in the basement. </p><p>"You believe Will got too close, so the Ripper killed him. It wouldn't be the first time that someone happened to get too close and the Ripper retaliated." </p><p>"It also wouldn't be the first time that Will has made leaps and bounds, and then decided to act without calling or alerting anyone on the matter." </p><p>"Yes," Hannibal murmurs and Will nearly misses it because the word is so quiet. "That is something that Will would do." </p><p>All Will can hear as he leans back against the wall, is his own breathing as multiple emotions claw at his chest threatening to escape his throat. He's furious, furious at Hannibal for lying to him, he's<em> missing</em>. Terrified because too many things are coming to him all at once and suddenly everything begins to make too much sense.</p><p>He tunes out the last bits of their conversation, only paying back attention when it begins to draw to the end. Hannibal offers to help in whatever way he can, telling Jack to feel free and call him whenever, whether it be for the case, or just someone to talk to. </p><p>Once the door closes, Will is surprised to find himself standing directly behind Hannibal with his arms crossed and glaring at the man. When Hannibal turns, his eyebrows draw in and lips turn into a frown, recognizing that Will has just heard every word of his conversation. "What did you do Hannibal?" his voice is a whisper, eyes searching Hannibal's face for something, anything, but it comes up blank. </p><p>Realizing that Hannibal isn't going to say anything, Will ducks past him to the door to run out hoping that he could still catch Jack. Then something can be done, solved. If anything, Will could lie, say he lost his phone, to save Hannibal from any legal prosecutions. </p><p>He can see Jack's car take off and Will tries to get into the road to begin waving like a mad man, but as he blinks, he is standing right back in front of Hannibal staring at the closed front door and he feels panic above all else and he chokes on a frustrated cry. There is no way that Will just lost time, it isn't possible. </p><p>Hannibal still looks too calm and collected for all of this information and Will feels himself start to grow absolutely volatile, "What's going on! Hannibal I swear to fucking god, Jack just came by to say that I'm<em> missing</em>. You lied to me." </p><p>Finally, Hannibal sighs and reaches out to grab Will's hand despite the way that he flinches away. "Let me show you." </p><p>Will's silent, as he lets Hannibal hold his hand and lead him through the house until they get to the door that leads into his basement. It opens, and Will feels the chills spread across his body as it flashes back to him in a sequence. </p><p><em>Look at what he did to me</em>. <em>Miriam Lass</em>. </p><p>They bypass most of the basement until they get to another door leading to a room far colder than the rest of the house. The freezer in here is giant big enough to- </p><p>Hannibal opens it and Will blanches. </p><p>It's his own body tucked into the freezer, placed on top of the cold white rack. And Will has been around enough dead bodies to know one when he sees him, and everything feels to surreal. His eyes look over his figure, he was in water before he died, his hair is frozen to his head, but besides that everything is intact. The only scars are from ones he has had for years by now. All Will can do is wonder how he could ever been so fucking stupid. </p><p>Forcefully, he tears his hand out of Hannibal's and backs away trying to put as much space between them. His voice is full of horror as he says, "You're the Chesapeake Ripper." </p><p>Will's mind reels over all of the facts that he has, thinks to the own profile that he created. Rich, hiding in plain sight, a doctor with surgery experience, values manners, along with countless other factors. He thinks back to the meat he found in the freezer, and all of Hannibal's dinner parties. The woman, <em>look at what he did to me</em>. </p><p>It hits Will then, why the woman had seemed so familiar. </p><p>He had seen her before in one of Jack's many case files, he has one dedicated to each and every Ripper victim. Will can distinctly remember her now, she had organs harvested from her while she was still alive. Weeks after her disappearance, she was found dead in a hospital- John Hopkins, with her womb torn open so that all can view it with a rolled up birth certificate placed inside. She had a kid whom she gave to her sister when the boy was only ten years old. No direct motivation had been found for her murder, besides that she did something that the Ripper thought to be both rude and appalling.</p><p>When Will looks at Hannibal again, the man before him doesn't speak, he merely shakes his head in agreement, admitting the truth to Will once and for all. "I-" he starts and doesn't know where to go with this, he's <em>dead</em>. "Did you kill me?" It would make sense, Will had gotten close to Hannibal, and they always say to keep your friends close, but your enemies even closer. "Because I was like Miriam Lass? Too close to discovering the truth?" </p><p>Finally, for the first time, emotion cracks through Hannibal's delicately made mask, looking genuinely upset that Will would ever suggest something so crude. "God, no Will," his voice cracks and Will feels his heart stop. "I tried to save you." </p><p>"Save me?" </p><p>"I was too late, they were already in your system." </p><p>Will can remember that night vividly now. The way the headache pounded at his skull making it feel like it was splitting apart, how he just wanted to sleep. He can remember how the bottle had fallen from his hands, and how Hannibal was there. That Hannibal carried him to the tub, made him throw up, and rocked him back and forth. But Hannibal was too late to get him to throw up enough so he could conduct a full and proper charcoal detox. </p><p>Hannibal was too late and- </p><p>And Will's dead. </p><p>A sob racks through Will's body, and he feels like he's being strangled as the tears begin to run down his face, "I died in the tub." </p><p>"You took sleeping pills, you took so many of them Will. You threw up some, but not enough." Will's whole body began to shake as more tears came and he allows himself to be pulled forward as Hannibal wraps his arms around him. "You took so many Will." </p><p>"I-I," Will struggles to speak through the tears. "I just wanted it to end, I didn't want to be in pain anymore Hannibal." </p><p>Hannibal's hand comes up to smooth of Will's curls from his face, his thumb coming out to swipe across his cheek and gather some of the tears. He pulls Will in tighter then, one hand wrapping around his shoulder and the other holding his head steady as Will continues to shake beneath him. "You died crying. I held you, you were safe. You died... loved." </p><p>Those words make Will begin to cry somehow even harder as he comes up to clutch at Hannibal like he's a lifeline, as if he's the only thing still tethering Will here. "Why didn't you tell me?" </p><p>"I didn't know how." </p><p>Will knows that it's a lie though as he pulls away, Hannibal had wanted to see what would happen. "Why did you kill the man from the Last Supper case?" </p><p>The complete topic change only seems to throw Hannibal off for the slightest of a second, "He was a former student of mine that now works under Dr. Sutcliffe. He was going to go to the FBI about unethical violations." </p><p>This time, Will takes another step back from Hannibal as he swipes at his cheek with the back of his sleeve to try and get rid of his own tears. "You and Dr. Sutcliffe lied to me. There was something wrong." </p><p>"Encephalitis." </p><p>An inflammation and swelling of the brain that causes headaches and fever. If severe enough, it can cause hallucinations, seizures, and memory problems. A wretched sound leaves Will's mouth as he spins around away from Hannibal at this realization. "Why didn't you tell me?" </p><p>"I wanted to see what you would do." </p><p>"Well?" Will seethes as he spins back around, this time his tears coming from a place of utter anger. "Are you happy with your results, Doctor?" </p><p>"I'm devastated," he says and Will looks at his face, really and truly looks. A man like Hannibal seldom feels anything close to guilt or regret, but Will imagines that if a man like him could ever feel those kinds of emotions, this would be the closest he would ever come. </p><p>Turning to look away again, Will startles to see that the freezer door is still open and exposing his dead body. Gulping, his hand twitches by his side as he longs to reach out, "What are you going to do with my body?" </p><p>Hannibal hums, seemingly finding this to be a far more neutral, if not safer, conversation. "I was planning on making it look like another killer, not the Chesapeake Ripper." </p><p>"Like the copycat kills," Will intones. The kills Hannibal had done to not only get his meat, but to show Will what he had been missing in the cases he previously never understood. He considers this, but finds himself appalled at the idea. No one else would catch the subtle difference to show his death would have been a Ripper kill, and he doesn't want them to think that any old serial killer happened to get to him, he deserves a death greater than that. "No, I don't want that." </p><p>"It would put Jack and the others to rest," Hannibal's voice is soft and full of reason. "It would point them to the direction of another killer, and they would believe after their capture that they have avenged you. Not to mention, it would point them off of my tail." </p><p>"I don't want to be dumped and treated like trash." </p><p>Reaching forward, Hannibal's palm connects with Will's cheek again, cradling his face delicately. "A Ripper kill then," he amends. "I could make your death be as beautiful as you are." </p><p>For a moment, Will closes his eyes and considers it. Hannibal would, he's always been over the top and would go well out of his way to show the world, to show Will, just how beautiful Hannibal perceives him. But Will knows Hannibal now, knows him for the dark truth that lingers underneath the facade he has clearly and meticulously crafted for himself. "No." </p><p>"Then what do you want me to do Will?" his voice turns a degree sharper. "For me to reveal now to Jack, days into the investigation, that you killed yourself? For me to turn myself in on a platter?" </p><p>It makes Will grunt in frustration as he leans further into Hannibal's hand that still rests on his cheek, his own hand coming up to cover it. "Eat me." </p><p>Visibly, Will can see the way the comment effects Hannibal immediately. He stills and takes a deep breath, "Will-" </p><p>"Eat me," Will repeats, this time more urgent for Hannibal to just listen to him. "I know you have always wanted to. You wouldn't, you didn't want to kill me, but I'm already dead. Make sure the only thing that remains are my bones." </p><p>"I will honor you Will," he swears taking the step forward to close the space between them again. "Just like I honored her." </p><p>It makes Will's lips upturn because he knows that this isn't a lie, "I imagine a dinner party is in the works?" </p><p>It was just a gamble on Will's part, but it makes sense. That Hannibal's kills can align to having dinner parties where he can serve the human remains to the unknowing masses. "You continue to surprise me Will. You saw me before I imagined you would." </p><p>"I was afraid to admit the truth of what I already knew," Will whispers. "I merely forced myself to silence the alarms and overlook the fact that you fit the very profile I had created." </p><p>"Magnificent boy," Hannibal growls as he swoops down to connect his lips with Will's. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It doesn't take Will as long as he would expect it to, to get used to the fact that he'll never be able to leave Hannibal's house again. He's tried, several times in fact, during the times where Hannibal is gone for work or other activities. He can go anywhere in Hannibal's yard, but the second he crosses the barrier, he's somewhere else on Hannibal's property. </p><p>The whole situation isn't as bad as it could be, at least he has countless books to entertain himself with, and Hannibal brings him the cases that Jack calls him in on, because while Will's case is still at large, other murderers don't stop. </p><p>If anything, Will misses his dogs more than anything, and he fights with the question everyday by considering asking Hannibal to adopt a dog, or see if he can help Alana by watching some. Ultimately, he holds off however, knowing he might just begin to lose part of his grip with reality if he does that. He already does at times, when he feigns sleep at night, he'll awake, not from nightmares, but from the memories, and he'll cry, and he always manages to wake Hannibal up as well. </p><p>Nightmares that used to consist of strangled bodies and torn apart limbs, are now twisted into memories of his body in the freezer, of a pill bottle falling to the floor, and a horrible lack of coherence as he sobs in a shower. Somehow, Will finds these ones worse and craves the blood and grim from what used to be his daily life. Now, his daily life consists of speaking to Hannibal, and only Hannibal. </p><p>Except the day another man comes. </p><p>Since learning Hannibal's secrets, he now knows where Hannibal keeps any potential damning evidence. In the kitchen, tucked away in a drawer, is all of his food plans for the dinner party that he is going to be hosting, and through each of the pages it details each dish. Morbidly, Will finds it fascinating. Of course, any ingredient such as meat or blood is written off as another animal, but Will knows the truth, and it makes him feel powerful. How many people can say that they get to see what happens to their body? Chooses what happens? He gets meaning besides rotting in the ground. </p><p>He sits at the kitchen table and flips through the pages, finding it charming all of the little notes and example pictures Hannibal has drawn. Will can't help but wonder if when Hannibal adds to it at night if he knows that Will likes to flip through it and see every new addition. It's a tedious task, Will knows it is, a multitude of dishes to be done, but Hannibal doesn't complain, and Will knows that he secretly loves it. </p><p>The front door creeks open, and immediately Will is alert as he stands up. Hannibal seldom gets guests, and if he does, it's either Jack and his wife Bella, Alana, or the rare high standing Baltimore citizen that Will doesn't know. In those times, Will simply disappears knowing he can't show himself, it's not a rule that Hannibal has made, but a silent and mutual agreement between the pair. </p><p>It's not Hannibal, Will knows that, he's going to be late tonight. After he finishes his appointments for the day, Hannibal was going to go to the market and stock up on food and various other products. Will almost wishes that he could go, he would love to see how Hannibal is at a store, if he goes to high class ones or if he goes to a brand like Walmart. It would be highly amusing if he did, and Will can obscenely picture Hannibal walking around in his three piece suits carefully examining all the products, sticking out compared to everyone else. </p><p>Will turns the corner and stops as he sees a man standing in the living room and looking around. He doesn't look like a thief or a burglar, and he doesn't seem to have noticed Will yet. Cocking his head to the side, he watches as the man still makes no moves and instead looks at one of the paintings that Hannibal has hanging up. Finally, he clears his throat, "I advise you to leave, it will be in your best interest." </p><p>The man startles then, obviously not expecting there to be anyone home. "I need to see Dr. Lector, it's urgent and he wasn't at his office. I-I..." </p><p>"You're a patient," Will notes suddenly understanding, and he frowns. A breakdown, he realizes as he watches the man still, perhaps a psychotic one. At the observation the man cautiously nods. "You shouldn't know where he lives." </p><p>"I snooped, he's the only one who can help me now, last night I-" the man suddenly stops and his eyes widen. "Oh my god wait a second. Y-you're Will Graham, you've been missing for <em>weeks</em>." </p><p>The fact that the man has recognized him, Will snarls. </p><p>"This is- should I call the FBI? </p><p>"They won't believe you," Will sing songs into the mans ear as he leans behind him. </p><p>The man screams in surprise and jumps away, petrified. "What- I didn't see you move." </p><p>Will never lets the man finish what he is about to say, because he's on him in seconds using one of the freshly sharpened knives Hannibal keeps in his kitchen. It's almost easy for Will to force him down and stab him, and he does so detached, but satisfied nevertheless. He's done this countless times before, he got into the minds of killers as he would recreate crime scenes, and Will finds actually committing the act to be so much better. He once admitted to Hannibal that he never felt more alive than when he killed Garret Jacob Hobbs, and Will finds that in this moment, he feels <em>alive.</em> </p><p>When he's done, Will finally pulls away from him to look at what he's done. It's a mess, of blood and utter carnage, and Will has to force himself to stop trying to analyze how he did it. He stares down at his arms, turning them over and seeing the blood coating them and he's only pulled out of his thoughts when he notices someone standing by him. </p><p>It's Miriam Lass, and it's the first time that Will has seen any other ghost since he has died. She glares at him, disgust evident in her features, "You're like him." </p><p>When Will takes a step forward though, she disappears once again leaving him alone with a mess to clean up.</p><p>While waiting for Hannibal to come home, Will cleans, surprised at how easy nothing stains, but Will isn't surprised that the supplies Hannibal has is heavy duty. Every Chesapeake Ripper crime scene is always devoid of any evidence, and Will imagines Hannibal takes great care to make sure the same is said for his home, where he does have more freedom to be messy. </p><p>"Who is he?" Will asks once Hannibal walks in and sets down several bags of groceries on the counter, noting the body placed on the table. </p><p>"Randall Tier," he answers not entirely fazed. "I do believe he killed someone last night, he was always speaking of wanting to be like an animal, and Jack called me, the scene was rather gruesome." </p><p>"Well," Will clicks his tongue in distaste. The man was afraid of what he had done, and likely was searching for Hannibal to figure out what he should do. "I suppose he got what he wanted, I slaughtered him like one." </p><p>But Will thinks about it, he had no other choice. He would have went to the FBI likely, and said something. It would create an open field day on Hannibal and his home, and Will didn't- no couldn't, let that happen. Will doesn't bring this fact up though, knowing that he doesn't have to justify himself to Hannibal. </p><p>Instead Hannibal asks, "Would you be interested in learning how to preserve the meat?" </p><p>Will can't help but wonder if Hannibal thinks that Will would try to kill him, how he would react or what he would do if Will tried. The concept nearly makes Will snort because what can Hannibal really do? He's already dead. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The dinner party falls on his birthday. </p><p>A fact that if anyone noticed, they didn't say anything about it. At least, not to where Will can hear. He lingers, while still remaining hidden, unable to stop himself from being curious, who can really blame him? A large portion of the guests are people that Will doesn't know, high class members of Baltimore society that he could hardly care about. </p><p>He recognizes Dr. Chilton, of all people. Jack is there, Bella too. Alana, of course is yet another given. What surprises Will the most is the rest of the team are there too, Beverly, Jimmy, and Brian. Hannibal hadn't mentioned inviting them, but it makes sense now that Will thinks about it. It's a feast, one held in Will's honor, even if the guests didn't know it. But it is. Hannibal has planned carefully and meticulously, and this is the first dinner party he has held where there are no caterers or outside help. </p><p>When dinner is served, Will finds himself watching with a sick satisfaction. It's horrifying, like a car crash, but he can't turn away. It's from the truth that only he and Hannibal share. And Will can almost swear that at some point Hannibal meets his eye with a grin reserved solely for him. </p><p>It's after dinner, and the last of the guests have trickled out, and Will finally comes out too. He stands in the kitchen with the intention of helping with the dishes, but Hannibal catches him in a back hug, bending down just enough to tuck his head on Will's shoulder. "Was that to your liking." </p><p>"Very," Will tells him honestly as he moves his own hands up to run his palms across Hannibal's arms. "You still have my bones right?" </p><p>"Of course." </p><p>"Make art with them. I want the team to find them, it will ease them more." </p><p>"Will it?" Hannibal counters. "Or Will that only worsen their frenzy?" </p><p>"At least they'll know I'm dead. The last lingering hope of wishing I might show up alive somewhere at some point will end. That's the first step of healing, isn't it Doctor?" </p><p>"Perhaps," Hannibal's lips brush against the shell of Will's ears, his breathing causing tingles. "But nevertheless they'll be searching for a killer. You saw how relentless Jack became after Miriam." </p><p>"Let them try and find one," Will dares.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Will kills again. </p><p>This time, it's another break in, one that happens when Hannibal is home. Hannibal is fast, but Will still is faster. </p><p>They sit, patiently waiting for the man to show, and Hannibal is certain that he will. He's the newest serial killer, the one the media calls the Tooth Fairy, but Hannibal knows the man prefers to be called the Red Dragon. It's the latest case, one that Jack has confided in Hannibal with quite regularly, and Hannibal has in return given Will copies of case files. </p><p>Of course, the Red Dragon comes with one sole purpose, he's discovered Hannibal's true identity and he has come to eliminate his biggest challenge, to prove that the Red Dragon is the apex predator. Hannibal knows this, but still allows for the Red Dragon to come, both unafraid and curious as to what would happen, but Will doesn't share those same circumstances. </p><p>When he comes, Will lets Hannibal talk to him, he patiently listens to their back and forth. The Red Dragon is petulant though, a wannabe. He believes he is creating something new, when all he is doing is destroying. The death he brings can never compare to the art Hannibal's bring. </p><p>But Will waits, until the Red Dragon begins to make his move on to Hannibal. And Hannibal has years honed to his skills of fighting, and Will personally knows of the muscle he has hidden underneath those fancy button ups and sweaters that he wears. Yet Will is faster. </p><p>A knock is enough to have Hannibal stumbling back, he keeps his balance with a grace, but there is no denying that the hit has pushed him slightly off course, and that's when Will sweeps in. </p><p>"I m going to film your death," the Red Dragon asserts as he moves to take a step closer to Hannibal, a calm assurance in his voice. He truly believes that he is greater than Hannibal, that he will not only defeat Hannibal, but walk out of this house alive. </p><p>It nearly makes Will laugh. </p><p>"It's a glorious end," Hannibal provides, always playing the roll of a Devil's Advocate, and Will can recognize it now. It's the calm before the storm with Hannibal, the careful detachment from his opinion, before he begins to manipulate his ideas onto whoever his victim is. And it works, Will knows it does, because he had fallen for it himself, it took only until his own death for him to realize. </p><p>He makes eye contact with Will then, his eyes twinkling as Will stands behind the Red Dragon, still unseen by him. His head turns in just the slightest degree, as if he knows what Will is thinking, but Will remains calm as he watches the scene unfold before him. Hannibal wants to strike, but he's baiting the Red Dragon to come close enough so he can deliver that final kill. </p><p>The Red Dragon brandishes a knife, and before he can step forward and swing, Will is right there taking the entire blunt, the knife burying all the way into his skull, the hilt being the only thing stopping it from cleanly going all the way through. </p><p>Blood pours from the wound and pools out of Will's mouth and when he doesn't yell in pain, or waiver in the slightest the Red Dragon's eyes go wide as he takes a step back. </p><p>"Impossible," he whispers as he takes in Will in front of him. Not only should Will not be standing there, moving too fast, but he should be on the floor bleeding out a slow and painful death. </p><p>Will laughs then, a manic sound that rumbles deep in his chest. The white button up he wears is quickly staining with his blood, but for once Will feels delighted because he can't feel a thing. Bringing his hand up, he curls around the hilt of the knife and pulls it out slowly, aware of how the sharp metal feels against his phantom bones. </p><p>Within a blink he is on the Red Dragon, lunging and twisting the knife into his side. The shot won't kill, and it isn't meant to, it's only meant to maim as the Red Dragon lets out a vicious cry and tries to fight for the control with Will. </p><p>The power struggle begins, and Wills grin is all teeth as the knife drives home into his own stomach again because it's utterly useless, and yet the Red Dragon still tries, he tries to fight for his life. The blade fits across the Red Dragons thigh and when he falls to the ground, he drags Will down with him. </p><p>He yells again, a deep and animalistic sound full of pain when he realizes that this is the end, that he won't escape from Will. </p><p>"Who are you?" he struggles to breathe as he looks at Will above him. </p><p>Will considers this, the question hitting him deeper than he would ever expect it to. Maybe once he had the answer to that question, he would have been able to answer it easily enough, that he was Will Graham, a professor and criminal profiler. Now though, he knows that something has changed, and he knows what marks it. </p><p>The lines of his past, his present, and his future are all created clearly, darkened in bold, and the factor that causes it is Hannibal Lector. </p><p>Before Hannibal he may have merely been a professor and criminal profiler, but afterwards he knows that he's changed, Hannibal has changed him. Once, after Will had killed Garrett Jacob Hobbs, Hannibal supplied the idea that maybe Will enjoyed killing him because it made him feel good to take down such evil, but in this moment Will wonders if he just likes the feeling of taking another human being down in general, regardless of what they have done. </p><p>Now, the answer holds a different weight entirely as Will holds the knife to the Red Dragon's neck, "I'm Will Graham," and slides it across. </p><p>When he's done, Hannibal is by his side offering his hand to help Will up, and he looks proud. He pulls Will in for a quick kiss before pulling back away to say, "This is all I ever wanted for you Will." </p><p>And it's then that Will finally gets it, where he believes he finally understands Hannibal. </p><p>It makes sense now, why Hannibal didn't tell Will about his encephalitis. This is why, the Red Dragon, Randall Tier, both are examples of what Hannibal wanted to see happen if Will continued to derail. He wanted Will to become like him, and if Will was like him then they could be together truly and fully. </p><p>Ever since the very beginning, Hannibal has loved Will in his own sick way. He wanted Will to see him, to truly see him, he had been trying to give Will a gift. </p><p><em>My name is Will Graham</em>. He tugs his way out of Hannibal's grasp to pull away. <em>I'm in Baltimore, Maryland. I am in Hannibal Lector's home</em>. </p><p>"Will?" Hannibal's voice seems far away as he reaches back out for Will. </p><p><em>You're just like him</em>. </p><p>Will dodges Hannibal's hand and he feels his chest heave. <em>My name is Will Graham</em>. And with that- </p><p>Will is gone. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Will stays away. </p><p>He sees the effect that it has on Hannibal. Nothing, at least not at first. He continues on normally, but he still looks around as if hoping to find Will. Then he begins to talk, trying to draw Will out. Will can hear each and every word, but he doesn't. </p><p>Will nurses his own wounds in his own peace, avoiding everyone because Hannibal isn't the only one looking for him. </p><p>Miriam is afraid of him, and countless other ghosts are hostile in general from the fact that their lives were took. But it's Randall Tier and the Red Dragon, who Will learns real name is Francis Dolarhyde, that have a special vendetta against Will. </p><p>It's been a couple of months since Will's disappearance when evidence turns up, and Jack comes to deliver the news personally to Hannibal. It makes Will snort, because if only Jack knew. </p><p>"Dr. Lector, how are you today?" </p><p>"I'm alright Jack, thank you for asking. Not that I ever mind your company, but I do have a bit of work to attend to, a colleague of mine has asked for me to review an article that she has written for an academic journal." </p><p>It isn't a lie, Will notes. Someone that Hannibal went to school with, a psychiatrist that is doing research on alternative medicine, mainly psychedelics, had reached out it Hannibal about a week ago to ask for his input on the matter. </p><p>"Right, I'll make this quick then Dr. Lector. A pair of remains have turned up, following theatrics that has been identified as the Ripper." </p><p>"Ah," Hannibal keeps his tone neutral. "Would you like help with the case? I could find time to be of some use, if you need it of course." </p><p>"That isn't the nature of this, though I appreciate the offer Dr. Lector. All we found at the scene were bones, and we found a DNA match, they're Will's." </p><p>It's silent, and Will wonders what Hannibal is doing to pretend to be surprised at that information. Will he act surprised or horrified? Would he go as far as to pretend to cry seemingly knowing that Will is dead and gone? </p><p>"I'm sorry," Hannibal finally says after a long minute of silence, and his voice quivers. "Thank you for letting me know before I had to read about it on the news."</p><p>"Of course," Jack says curtly. </p><p>Their conversation finishes up, and Will waits at Hannibal's desk for him to return. He does, and Will gets to witness how he sheds his fake humanity off like a snake ridding of their skin. Hannibal plays his rolls well, and Will imagines that is partially how he flies by so undetected, especially after all this time. It takes one full of extreme confidence to remain so close to the FBI. </p><p>For all purposes though, Hannibal seems relieved to finally see Will again, as if he was almost beginning to fear that Will had gone away for good. </p><p>"That wasn't a courtesy visit," Will points out. "Jack doesn't give a damn if you read about the bones being mine in a Tattlecrime article. He suspects you." </p><p>"There's no evidence," Hannibal sighs as he takes his place in his seat, he's long but gotten over Will's utter disregard to sitting on top of furniture he shouldn't be. "Besides, dead men tell no tales." </p><p>But Will doesn't think that Hannibal is safe. </p><p>He's proven right, not even a week later when they're both lounging on the couch curled up together. Hannibal's reading a book, and Will's filling out the crossword puzzle from the weekly newspaper when they get the call. Will immediately recognizes the number to the BAU, and when Hannibal goes to reach for the phone, Will's hand shoots out to still his arm to let the phone ring. </p><p>Seconds later the voicemail is coming over the phone. "Dr. Lector, if you could stop by Headquarters no later than tomorrow morning in regards of the disappearances of Miriam Lass and William Graham, that would be great, thank you." </p><p>Will frowns as he lets go of Hannibal arm, "They know." </p><p>"I know." </p><p>Looking down, Will stares at his half finished crossword puzzle just to be given something else to focus on in the moment. He knows what's done it, somehow they've connected Miriam Lass's disappearance with his own, and individually both were accredited to the Chesapeake Ripper. The fact that they are formally asking Hannibal to come in for questioning means that they believe he might be the Chesapeake Ripper. Will wonders if they're baiting him, or merely waiting for more evidence before admitting a proper arrest. Beverly might have found something, Will imagines she could, she has always been smarter than what she's been given credit for. </p><p>Now all that leads to is what Hannibal will do with this information, he's resting on a fine line at the moment. Even if they can't convict him of being the Chesapeake Ripper currently, the floodgate has opened, and him fitting the profile that Will himself had made would be enough. Not to mention, Will knows that if they do enough digging to Chesapeake Ripper murders, they can find a connection back to Hannibal. </p><p>Former patients. An old student. </p><p>There are too many coincidences that once being added together are undeniable. </p><p>"Will you run?" </p><p>"And leave you?" Hannibal retorts as if he doesn't even consider leaving an option. "No." </p><p>So Hannibal is aware that Will isn't the only one. </p><p>Standing up, Will looks away from Hannibal as he whispers, "Maybe you should," before he leaves again. </p><p>The next day, Hannibal never goes to the BAU. He leaves, and comes back later at night. He disappears somewhere in the house, and Will doesn't bother to look for him. He only comes out when he hears another car pull up, he can't help but feel an impending sense of doom. Appearing in the dining room, he begins to sweep his way through the halls towards the door, ready to act depending on who comes through the door, but he quickly realizes that a noise from upstairs suggest someone else is already here. </p><p>Immediately, he frowns because no other ghost in the house ever causes such a racket, and that has him rushing up the stairs to see Abigail of all people closing a door shut behind her. </p><p>"Abigail?" his voice drops, a mixture of surprise and relief. </p><p>"Will!" she breaks out in a grin and rushes forward, meeting him half way for a hug. </p><p>He's missed her, and as he wraps his arms around her to squeeze, he notes that she is still alive, now that Will knows exactly what to look for in this house, he can tell, and he feels some of the tension bleed out of his body. For now, he ignores how messy it means for her to see him, especially knowing that he was not only missing, but has officially turned up dead. Will's stolen one of Hannibal's tablets to specifically look up what Freddie Lounds had to say about it. </p><p>He's so caught up in the girl in his arms that he misses the way someone else bounds up the stairs a gun in hand. </p><p>"Will-" </p><p>Spinning around, Will sees that it's Alana of all people standing there, and if Will still had a heart, he knows that it would drop down to his stomach, because this isn't good at all. </p><p>"You-" Alana tries again, struggling to find the words. </p><p>"Died," Will supplies, his hands twitching by his side unsure of what to do. </p><p>Her mouth gapes open and her gun lowers as she turns to regard Abigail this time, "You shouldn't be here." </p><p>Abigail shrugs, "I'm sorry." </p><p>Will doesn't have to think about what to do because Abigail reaches out and pushes Alana through the open window. It's Will's turn to gape as he stares at Abigail in shock, not because she killed someone, he knows that she already has, but because she attacked Alana. </p><p>"Come on," she turns to Will and holds her hand out for him to take. "Let's go find Hannibal." </p><p>He takes her hand and they go down the stairs and to the kitchen where they find Hannibal wiping his hands on a dish towel, and Will wonders what he has done. </p><p>Staring at Hannibal before him, Will finds himself angry once again. If Alana has come, with a loaded gun nevertheless, that means that the FBI isn't too far behind her. They're undoubtedly coming to arrest Hannibal, and instead of leaving, he remains and has even brought Abigail into this. </p><p>"I thought I told you to leave!" Will hisses, unable to believe why even in the face of this storm, Hannibal remains so perfectly poised and calm, he remains in control. </p><p>"I won't, not without you." </p><p>It's ridiculous because- "You know I can't." </p><p>"I know." He turns to Abigail then, one of his rare and genuine smiles on his face as he beckons her to come over to him. "Abigail, please." She does, without hesitation, full of trust for the man, no the monster before her. Hannibal pulls her into a half hug before turning back to Will, "We're her fathers now Will." </p><p>Will screams as he lurches forward watching the way that the knife slides across her throat, the blood instantly pouring out of the wound. Knocking the blade out of Hannibal's hand, Will collapses on his knees and reaches out to catch her falling body before she hits the floor entirely. Tears begin to stream down Will's face as his hands come up to cup her neck like the way he did the day her father had tried to do the exact same thing, but this time she won't be saved in time. </p><p>The tears stream down his face as he pulls her in closer to him, this isn't what he wanted. Abigail deserved to live, to have a good and long life after the trauma her own father had put her through. Not to have the next father like figure man she trusted to rip that away from her in this God awful house nevertheless, because she's dying, and will die. Will knows that there is nothing he can do to save her now, Hannibal's cut is too deep, and the FBI won't get here in time either. </p><p>He wonders if this is how Hannibal felt, this helplessness as he watched Will die in front of him. </p><p>"I'm here," Will whispers as he watches her struggle to breathe. "I promise that I'm here now, and I'll be here when you wake back up again." </p><p>Underneath his hands, Abigail goes limp the same time that there's the violent sound of a door being slammed in, and Will's been outside to watch this happen before. He knows that it's Jack leading a group of agents, all coming in blazing with guns and bullet proof gear. </p><p>"Dr. Lector, it's the FBI, you're under arrest for the crimes of being the Chesapeake Ripper. Put any and all weapons down on the ground and raise your hands to surrender." </p><p>It's Jack's booming voice that rings out, and seconds later he's rushing into the kitchen, his dark brown eyes meeting Will's and the sound of gun shots ring through the house. Hannibal's body drops down on the ground, and when Jack turns back, Will is gone and there only remains Abigail's dead body. </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The FBI begin to investigate the house, doing a quick sweep before a full rundown the next day. As soon as they leave, Will shows himself again and curls up on Hannibal's bed, feeling more numb than he ever has before. Will finds himself laying there for hours, thoughts and revelations turning over and over again in his head. </p><p>"Will." </p><p>Blinking, Will sits up in bed to see that Hannibal is standing before him, no physical signs of his death, no bleeding bullet wounds. But Will knows that he is, he watched as the black bags covered both his and Abigail's bodies. "Abigail is dead because of you." </p><p>"I don't regret what I have done, Will. She can be with us now," Hannibal turns his chin up. </p><p><em>Us</em>, Will thinks, <em>because we're all dead</em>. Will, Hannibal, and Abigail. "Of course you wouldn't regret it," Will snorts as he stands up from the bed to face Hannibal fully. "You got the results that you wanted." </p><p>"So I did." </p><p>Will shakes his head as he takes a step back from Hannibal, skirting around the bed, all he wants is to put a distance between the two of them. "I used to think that you were like me Hannibal, that you were attracted to the darkness. But Hannibal, you are the darkness." </p><p>"Maybe," Hannibal thinks back to winter nights in Lithuania where he was shrouded in darkness, until he emerged to become something else entirely. "But you're my light Will. The only one that I have ever known." </p><p>Will thinks of what that must mean for him as a person, as a character, to have such a vicious creature as Hannibal considering him to be the light. What it must mean for him for having attracted such a darkness to begin with, because Hannibal has gone after him ever since their very first meeting in Jack's office. </p><p>Randall Tier and the Red Dragon flash in Will's mind, and he remembers what it felt like to take them both down, to end their lives at his very hands, with a stolen knife both times. It makes him frown, because the darkness swirling in Will had been hand crafted by Hannibal, and forged from months of lies and manipulation. </p><p>There's a whisper in the back of his mind though that Hannibal didn't pull that same very darkness out of nowhere, that it always has resided in Will. </p><p></p><div>
  <p>"I don't want to be your light," Will whispers, knowing that it's now impossible for him to be. "You've changed me Hannibal." </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I gave you a gift," Hannibal hisses. "But you don't want it, do you: </p>
  <p>"Don't I?" Will asks. He knows now that whatever he may be, he still can't, and won't be what Hannibal wants him to become. He has seen Hannibal, has been given the gift, but Will doesn't want to remain by his side. Even then, "I believe that I changed you too Hannibal." </p>
  <p>"Have you?" he sneers, the corners of his lips upturning in hostility. When he sees the way that Will turns around as if to leave, he finally relents, because he knows that in the end Will is right. "I love you." </p>
</div><p>It's the first time that Hannibal has ever said those words and it makes Will freeze, the sorrow coming back to him tenfold. Slowly, he turns around and makes two long strides to stand in front of Hannibal. Raising his hand to Hannibal's cheek, Will smiles, "I love you too," and the answer is painfully honest, and Will can see the subtle hint of relief on Hannibal's face. "But I can't forgive you." </p><p></p><div>
  <p>The words come out and they might as well have been sharpened like a dagger that tears through Hannibal's skin. He makes an undignified sound in the back of his throat as Will breaks away from him. </p>
  <p>"You have to pay for what you've done. All the pain you've caused, all the sorrow. You murdered countless people Hannibal, and you left me to suffer for how long? How many other people did you manipulate, try to bring out their darkness? You killed Abigail for your own selfish desire." </p>
  <p>"Will-" </p>
  <p>"I can't be with you, I <em>won't </em>be with you." </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"What are you saying?" Hannibal growls as he takes a threatening step forward, anger and rejection seeping through his bones, and it's the most hostile and lack of control that Will has ever seen the man. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"I'm telling you to go away Hannibal." </p>
  <p>"Don't do this Will. You're all I want, you're all I have." </p>
</div><p>"Go away Hannibal!" Will screams, hands coming up to push at the man when he tries to get close to him. </p><p>When Will opens his eyes, Hannibal is gone. </p><p> </p><p>
  <br/>
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  <p>Tears are streaming down Will's face as he collapses on the floor in the kitchen against the fridge. It makes him choke, thick and salty tears as his body physically shakes by the violent sensations. He feels like he's lost a very piece of him, like there's been something taken from him, and he wonders when things suddenly went all wrong. </p>
</div><div>
  <p>"Will." </p>
  <p>He looks up from where his head is buried in his hand to see Abigail sitting next to him, her head turned towards him. There's a smile on her face, a sad one. "Abigail, I-" he doesn't know where to begin or what to say. That he's sorry that Hannibal did this to her, that he thought he was doing something for Will, for himself, when he did. </p>
  <p>"It's okay," she nods, tears in her own eyes as Will reaches out his hand cupping behind her head to pill her into him. </p>
  <p>"He gave you to me, but he took you away." </p>
  <p>Abigail shakes her head, tears still in her eyes, "He said he made a place for us." </p>
  <p>"A place was made for you," he closes his eyes. "In this world." </p>
  <p>And maybe they all could have needed someone to save them. </p>
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